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October 23, 2009     Heritage Florida Jewish News
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October 23, 2009

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HERITAGE FLORIDA JEWISH NEWS, OCTO:~ER 23, 2009 PAGE 9A By Gloria Yousha -- Call 407-657-9405 or 407-834-8787 What?... I heard recently that Iran's president, MahmoudAhmadinejad has Jewish ancestry. How can this be? He is probably the most infamous. "THE" Holocaust denier! That brings me to this: According to "A" holocaust is an act of mass destruction and loss of life. "THE" Holocaust is what our people suffered under Hitler's regime. To borrow a phrase frommy dear friend, Orlando Sentinel's Commander Coconut, "I'm just saying." It seems the United Nations is always against Israel... Back in 1979, The Jewish Institute For National Security Affairs (JINSA) first published a "quick reference guide" to the capabilities Israel brings to U.S.-Israel security cooperation. It is reviewed periodically, revised slightly and republished when some people (including proTessors at Harvard and the University of Chicago) seem unsure why the U.S. regards Israel as a partner in a difficult region rather than the beneficiary of "the Lobby." Thirty years after its debut, the list remains largely intact. Israel has: a secure location in a crucial part of the world; a well developed military infrastructure; the ability to maintain, service and repair U.S. origin equipment; an excellent deep water port in Haifa; modern air facilities; a position close to sea lanes; an ability to project power over long distances; a domestic air force larger than many in Western Europe and possessing more up-to-date hardware; multilingual capabilities, including facility in English, Arabic and the languages of the former Soviet Union; combat familiarity with Soviet/Russian style tactics and equip- ment; the ability to support American operations and to provide emergency ai r cover; a Democratic political system w ith a strong orientation to support the United States and the NATO system. In a volatile region so vital to the U.S., where other states cannot be relied upon, it would be foolish to disengage, or denigrate, an ally such as Israel. The war against terrorists and the states that harbor and support them will be long and. hard. and success will depend in no small measure on the allies who stand with the United States and with whom we stand. I just returned from Chicago... Let me tell you: It was 38 degrees the morning I was leaving Illinois. I flew back to 93 degrees in Orlando! (I prefer the coldweather because I look lousy in shortsand aswimsuit.) I surprised my grandchil- dren, LAUREN, whoturned 10 years old on the day I arrived, and ZACHY, who was also happy to see me. Zachy told me a joke: Ques- tion: If you have two banana peels what do you have? Answer: A pair of slippers! (A funny punch lind) Lauren also told me a joke: This guy was at a fair and was very hungry so he stood on Zachy Yousha the pizza line but thought it was too long so he switched over to the apple pie line. He thought it was too long also, and he went to the punch line where he stayed. (There is no punch lind) One of the many things we did while visiting, was a trip to the Wilmette ParkDistrict Children's Theatre to see the musical "Cinderella." Some of my granddaughter Lauren's friendswere in the production, but I will mention only the two who are members of our tribe. LILLY ZOGHLIN and SONIA HOLSTEIN. Who incidentally, attend Hebrew school with Lauren. Lauren Yousha Now, back home in the heat, I want to return to the Midwest! It's almost that time of year... BONNIE CHARYN will once again treat us to her talents and have her puppets perform puppet theatre magic when Bonnie's Puppet Palace performs on Oct. 29 from 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. at the New Smyrna Beach Library. Bonnie will be presenting a 10-year, not-to-be-missed, Hal- loween time tradition:.A very special original production: "The Witches Halloween Party!" Funny havoc ensues when Witch Trenda creates a monster to entertain her guests at the party and the jealous resident monster adds something extra to the witches brew to rid himself of his rival. There will be singing of original Halloween songs, playing musical instruments and posing for photos with the puppets using audience member's cameras. For further information on this and other shows please feel free to contact Bonnie either by phone, 407-422-2562 or at her website at What a lovely time... My spouse and I attended the Sukkah Kiddush luncheon at Congregation Ahavas Yisrael in Maitland recently. The event was in memory of Mrs. Bat- Sheva Konikov, DEVORAH DUBOV's morn. It Was a wonderful event, with Devorah, Rabbi Dubov and their children and guests telling lovely stories. The food was terrific. Sowas the company. What a nice way to celebrate the holiday! Mazei tov department... Congratulations to GARY and ALLISON KOVACS on the birth oftheirbaby MADDISONBonnie Charyn and (nicknamed Maddie) on May 28.puppet Congratulations to STE- PHEN SHAPIRO and DEE DEE BAUER, on their wedding, June 12 in Colorado. And congratulations to BRIAN FISCHBEIN, CEO of Crescent Solutions, an IT staffing and consulting company, for making it to the top five in Entrepreneur Magazine's "Entrepreneur of the Year" contest. A good read... Today (Oct. 23) from 6:30-8:30 p.m., MICHAEL ROSEN will autograph "What Else But Home" at Urban Think! Bookstore, 625 E. Central Blvd., Orlando. In the author's words: "I began 'What Else But Home' without knowing Sept. 11 destroyed my business; we were safe, physically, but our office, a block-and-a-half south of the Towers, faced Rec- tor Street and the path of the second plane; perfect views of the tragedy and destruction. Our elected officials visited 'Ground Zero,' made daily pro- nouncements, certainly helped familiesofthosewhoperishedand promised aid to those of us whose businesses and livelihoods had vanished. But if you worked in or had a small business there...a shoe store, a small restaurant, a magazine shop, a small design or law firm, you received absolutely nothing. And your business was gone. I started writing a book then." OK, I need a joke... In this harsh atmosphere of unemployment: My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it so they gave me the ax. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. mainly because it was a so-so job. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it. Then I tried to be a chef, I figured it would add spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme. Finally, I attempted to be adeli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients. Next was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live 4n my net income. I managed to get a job working for a swimming pool mainte- nance company, but the work was just too draining. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn't up to it. So then I got a job in a gymnasium, but they said I wasn't fit for the job. Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking. After years of trying to find work, I finally got a job as an his- torian, until I realized there was no future in it. My last job was working at Starbucks Coffee, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. So, I retired, and I found that I am a perfect fit for the job! (Oy.) One more for the road... Morris gets a new dog and can't wait to show him off to Shlomo. So when Shlomo arrives, Morris calls the dog into the house, bragging about how smart he is. The dog quickly comes run- ning and stands looking up at his master, tail wagging furiously, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with anticipation. Morris points to the newspaper on the couch and commands, "FETCH!" Immediately, the dog climbs onto the couch and sits down. His tail wagging stops and the doggie-smile disappears. Looking balefully up at his master, the dog says in awhiny voice, "You think this is easy wagging my tail all the time? It hurts from so much wagging. And do you think that expensive organic dog food you're feeding me is tasty? You try it. It's dreckmuch too salty. And you just don't seem to care about me anymore. You just push me out the door to pee three times a day. I can't remember the last time you took me out for a walk." Shlomo is amazed. "What the hell is that? Your dog is sitting there talking." "Oh, I kn0w', explains M(;rris,"He's young and I'm stiU training him. He thought I said KVETCH." E ISH NE S can be purchased at the following locations: Orange County JCC, 851 N. Maitland Ave., Maitland • Borders, 600 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park * SOJC, 11200 S. Apopka Vineland Rd., Orlando • Select Publix Supermarkets Seminole County Heritage News, 207 O'Brien Rd., Fern Park • Ole Gourmet, 7800 South US Hwy 17-92, Suite 194, Fern Park • Borders Books and Music, 880 W. S.R. 436. Altamonte Springs • Bagel King, 1472 Semoran Blvd., Casselberry • Borders Books and Music, 8285 Red Bug Lake Rd., Oviedo • Kosher Kats, 744 W. 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