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August 31, 2012     Heritage Florida Jewish News
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August 31, 2012

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HERITAGE FLORIDA JEWISH NEWS, AUGUST 31, 2012 PAGE 9A By Gloria Yousha -- Call 407-657-9405 or 407-834-8787 Bits and pieces... (Remember, I write this column more than a week before it is published and read by you. You may con- sider it old news.) Many things are on my mind.., hence the lead in titled "Bits and pieces." In a recent statement that was both inaccurate and offensive, Missouri Senate candidate Rep. TODD AKIN said that vic- tims of "legitimate rape" don't get pregnant because "the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." Ray Bradbury Daniel Keyes I couldn't believe what I heard! So listen up all my married friends who never want children.., forget about birth control of any kind, and certainly forget about having a vasectomy. Rape is the answer! Our own ALAN ROCK, WUCF radio personality and long time member of our Jewish community, posted this quote from Thomas Paine on his Facebook page... "To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead." (I think it fits Todd AKIN perfectly.., but I'm just saying. And one more thing, Akin sits on the House Committee on Science and Technology!) And speaking of science and technology.., how about that NASA landing on Mars? NASA's Mars rover, Curiosity, has begun driving from its landing site, named by scientists for the late author, Ray Bradbury who died this year. It is now called Brad- bury Landing. The rover, Curiosity, is about 20 feet from the spot where it landed. Its primary mission is to find out if Mars ever supported life.., which brings me to a joke sent to me by our own MYRON BLATTNER: Two astronauts land on Mars. Their mission is to check whether there is oxygen on the planet. "Give me that box of matches," says one. "Either it burns and there is oxygen, or nothing happens." He takes the box and is ready to strike a match when out of the blue a Martian appears waving his arms... "No, no, don'tF' The astronauts look at each other, worried. Could there be an unknown explosive gas on Mars? But he goes ahead with the plan and takes another match .... And now, a crowd of hysterical Martians is coming, all waving their arms: "No, no, don't do that!" The astronauts think it looks serious. What are the Martians afraid of? "But, they say, "we're here for science, to know if man can breathe on Mars," so he strikes another match, which flames up, burns down and nothing happens. So the astronauts ask, "Why did you want to prevent us from striking a match?" The leader of the Martians says, "Today is Shabbos! Still on the subject of science... And science fiction writ- ers. One of the finest in this country is DANIEL KEYES, author of "Flowers For Al- gernon" among many other well-known books. "Flowers For Algernon" became the movie "Char- lie" which earned actor Cliff Robertson an Oscar. "Charlie" was shown a few months ago on TMC (Turner Movie Classics) television. "Flowers For Algernon" is also required reading in many U.S. schools. Danny and his wife, AUREA, make their home right here in Florida. (I am very proud of this talented famous writer, espe- cially since his late morn and my late morn were sisters.) Just a reminder... "Everyone is invited to the Jewish Pavilion's annual Volunteer Recognition Luncheon on Thursday, Sept. 6 at 11 a.m. at Maison and Jardin. For further informa- tion, reservations, cost, etc., please phone the office at 407-678- 9363. PJ Library news... Attention morns with little kids: Take note that on Friday, Sept. 7 at 6 p.m., the following will be happening: There will be a FREE Tot Shabbat at South Orlando Jewish Congregation (SOJC)! The free Tot Shabbat service led by Rabbi HILLEL SKOLNIK is designed with kids in mind. Introduce your children to the beauty of Sabbath and holiday melodies and the joy of sharing them with family and friends. South Orlando Jewish Congregation is located at 11200 S. Apopka-Vineland Road in Orlando. One for the road... Here is a favorite joke of Dr. MEEMET OZ, well- known television personal- ity, author and also a noted cardiothoracic surgeon: "Doctor, please help me," says an elderly pa- tient. "I have silent pas- sage of gas every morning. I have silent passage of gas every afternoon, and I suf- fer from silent passage of gas in the evening. Some- times I have silent passage of gas at unpredictable times.., for instance, just now. Doctor, can you help Dr. Mehmet Oz me?" "Sure, I can help you," says the doctor. "But first you need your hearing checked." A Senior Living Community where Hospitality is a Way of Life. Assisted Living - Rehabilitation and Skilled Nursing Care * Vadety of Apartment Suite Selections, some with Lake Views * Weekly Happy Hour hosted by the Jewish Pavilion a Monthly Shabbat Service Monthly Bagels and Lax luncheon e Special Celebrations and Meals during High Holy Holidays Call us today, stop by for a visit, join us for lunch, or all of the above. You are always welcome/ A.%C/,IS'I'F,D LIVING AND SKItJ.D NURSING 1301 W. Maitland Blvd. * Maitland, FL 32751 Locate air acrom the stmt from Congregat Obey Shom 407 -645-3990 1301 W. Maitland Blvd. Maitland, FL 32751 407-645-3990 Assisted Living Facdity License No. 8447 Skilled Nursing Facility License No. 1635096 *''.'viLi6;  ...... can be purchased at the following locations: ORANGE COUNTY JCC, 851 N. Maitland Ave., Maitland * JCC South, 11184 South Apopka-Vineland Rd., Orlando Kinneret, 515 South Delaney Ave., Orlando = SOJC, 11200 S. Apopka Vineland Rd., Orlando Most Publix Supermarkets All Winn Dixie Supermarkets SEMINOLE COUNTY Heritage News, 207 O'Brien Rd., Fern Park * Barnes and Noble Booksellers, 451 E. Altamonte Dr. Suite 2317, Altamonte Springs & 1260 Oviedo Marketplace Blvd., Oviedo Bagel King, 1472 Semoran Blvd., Cas- selberry Kosher Kats, 744 W. S.R. 434, Longwood Central Florida Hillel, 4250 Alafaya Trail, Ste. 212-363, Oviedo Most Publix Supermarkets All Winn Dixie Supermarkets VOLUSIA COUNTY Federation of Volusia/Flagler, 470 Andalusia Ave., Or- mond Beach Most Publix Supermarkets All Winn Dixie Supermarkets Barnes & Noble, 1900 W. International Speedway Blvd., Daytona Beach Perrys Ocean Edge Resort, 2209 South Atlantic Ave. Daytona Beach OSCEOLA COUNTY Cindy M. Rothfield, P.A., 822 W. 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