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July 17, 2009     Heritage Florida Jewish News
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July 17, 2009
 

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HERITAGE FLORIDA JEWISH NEWS, JULY 17, 2009 PAGE 9A By Gloria Yousha -- Call 407-657-9405 or 407-834-8787 How safe are we?... Don't bet money on it! This comes directly from CNN.com on the Internet: Plainclothes investigators sent to test security at federal buildings in four U.S. cities were successful in smuggling bomb components through guard posts at all 10 of the sites they visited, according to a government report. The investigators then assembled the bombs in restrooms and freely entered numerous government offices while carrying the devices in brief- cases, the report said. The Senator Joseph Lieberman buildings contained offices of several federal lawmakers as well as agencies within the departments of State, Justice and Homeland Security, which is responsible for safeguarding federal office buildings. The Government Accountability Office, the investigative arm of Congress, conducted the tests to check on the effectiveness of the Federal Protective Service. The FPS protects federal build- ings by having about 1,200 federal law enforcement officers oversee an army of 13,000 private security guards. In a videotape obtained by CNN, a covert GAO inspector places a bag containing bomb components on an X-ray machine conveyor belt and then walks through a magnetometer at an unidentified federal building. Unlike some covert tests that use simulated explosives, the GAO used actual bomb components in the test and publicly available information "to identify a type of device that a terrorist could use" to damage a building. The (improvised explosive device) was made up of two parts... a liquid explosive and a low-yield detonator.., and included a variety of materials not typically brought into a federal facility by an employee or the public, the report says. Investigators obtained the components at local stores and over the Internet for less than $150, the report says. After the components were smuggled into the building and assembled, the GAO says, it took steps to ensure the device would not explode. But to demonstrate the device's destructive power, the GAO videotaped the detonation of several devices at a remote site. The GAO also released a photograph of a guard asleep at his post and detailed an instance in which a woman placed an infant in a carrier on an X-ray machine while retriev- ing identification. Because the guard was not paying attention and the machine's safety features had been disabled, the infant was sent through the X-ray machine, according to the report. Senator Joseph Lieberman, of Connecticut and chairman of the Homeland Security Committee, called the test results 'simply unacceptable. We knew that the FPS was a troubled agency, but that GAO could penetrate security at these buildings and make bombs without detection is truly shocking,' he said. The security lapses, show a disturbing pattern by the Federal Protective Service of poor training, lapsed documentation, lax management, inconsistent enforcement of security standards and little rigor. The GAO report concludes that FPS does not fully ensure that its guards have the training and certifications required to stand post at federal facilities." (So, when are we going to change this? Why aren'twe making sure that guards are fully trained? We made sure that Michael Jackson had a great send-off. Isn't this more important?) OK, I really need a joke... Sadie went to see her psychiatrist to get help on an issue concerning her sexual relationship with her spouse. Her doctor explained, "I can only help you if you're open and honest with me. Agreed?" Sadie agrees. But after just 15 minutes, the doctor tells her that they are getting nowhere because she is too secretive. He agrees to try once more and asks her to reply quickly to his questions. Once more Sadie agrees. "Have you ever looked directly into your husband's face while you were making love?" the doctor asked. Sadie answered, "Yes." Then the doctor asked if she saw emotion in her husband's face? "Yes," Sadie replied. "I saw great anger." "Excellent," continues the psychiatrist. "We're nearly there. So when you looked directly into Abe's face while you were making love and saw great an- ger, could you please explain to me exactly what Abe was doing at the time?" Sadie replied, "He was up a ladder looking at me through the bedroom window." (Oy vay.., somebody call the TV show "Cheaters!') Can you stand another Michael Jackson story?... The time was summer of 1970. EVELYN COHEN lived in Miami with her family at that time and decided to take a little family vacation at the Deauville Hotel on Miami Michael Jackson and Beach. Evelyn Cohen While walking through the lobby, Evelyn and her brood spotted a group of youngsters that looked familiar. When she asked the hotel clerk, she was told that they were the Jackson clan in Miami to record. Michael was not quite 12 at the time. Brother JERMAINE was about 16 years old. The entire Jackson family was there, but later that day on the beach, Evelyn asked for a photo with "stars" Michael and Jermaine, and they obliged. Such memories! Evelyn and her family moved to Central Florida in 1974 and have been here ever since. She is the administrative assistant to the chief of the Longwood Fire Department. This October will mark 25 years of her service! A lovely waitress... LISA APEL would make a wonderful server wherever she worked but luckily for us (me and my spouse) she is at the delightful Athena Greek Caf, 1140 E. Altamonte Drive (state Route 436),Altarnonte Springs. The food is great, including gyros, salads, roasted chicken, etc., and the service ala Lisa cannot be beat. Lisa is a mem- ber of our community and a very pretty lady.., too pretty, in fact. I didn't even want her serving my spouse but when she recognized me from my Heritage column, well, that made it OK! Lisa Apel How's your summer reading?... On Saturday, July 18 (tomorrow) at 3 p.m., DORIS BLOOD- SWORTH will sign "Groveland" at Urban Think[ Bookstore, 625 E. Central Blvd., Orlando. Doris Bloodsworth presents another slice of Central Florida history, this time centering on Groveland. Author Doris Blood- sworth is a Pulitzer-nominatedwriterwho movedwith her family to Groveland in 1959. She graduated from Groveland High School in 1968 and earned a degree in journalism from the University of Florida. She reported for the Wall Street Journal and Orlando Sentinel before starting Crosswords Communications Co. She currently covers Florida's federal courts for BloornbergNews. Doris Bloodsworth helped found the Groveland Historical Society and Museum to fulfill the dying wishes of a high- school friend. A portion of the profits from the book goes to fund the museum. One for the road... Lionel, Benny, Max and Hyman are out fishing early one Sunday morning. After an hour of fishing, Lionel suddenly breaks the silence and says, "You three have no idea what I had to do before I could come out fishing today. I had to promise my Rivkah that I would decorate our bedroom next Sunday." "That's nothing," says Benny, "I had to promise my Leah that I would build her a new terrace by the swimming pool." "Well," says Max, "you both had it easy. I had to promise my Sharon that I would completely refit our kitchen with new mahogany cupboards and the latest state of the art equipment." But Hyman has not said a word so they ask him what he did to come out fishing. Hyman replies, "I just set my alarm for 5:3, a.m. When it went off, I gave my Faye a firm nudge and said, 'Fishing or Sex?' She replied, "Don't forget your sweater." There's no place like USA.gov. Have you ever wondered how the Wizard of Oz seemed to know everything? Well, the secret's out and it's USAgov. You can find everything from student loans to government auctions and government benefits te. well. almost anything. So go to the official source of federal and state government information, USAgov. It can make you as an-knowing as the Wizard of Oz. USA.gov 1 {800) FED-INFO A puhll,; serwce F,e.%age lrom tqe U,S Gen.ra. Suraces &lninis:ration can be purchased at the following locations: Orange County JCC, 851 N. Maitland Ave., Maitland • Borders, 600 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park • SOJC, 11200 S. Apopka Vineland Rd., Orlando • Select Publix Supermarkets Seminole County Heritage News, 207 O'Brien Rd., Fern Park • Ole Gourmet, 7800 South US Hwy 17-92, Suite 194, Fern Park • Borders Books and Music, 880 W. S.R. 436, Altamonte Springs • Bagel King, 1472 Semoran Blvd., Casselberry • Borders Books and Music, 8285 Red Bug Lake Rd., Oviedo • Kosher Kats, 744W. S.R. 434, Longwood • Central Florida Hillel, 4250 Alafaya Trail, Ste. 212-363, Oviedo • Select Publix Supermarkets Volusia County Federation of Volusia/Elagler, 470 Andalusia Ave., Ormond Beach • Select Publix Supermarkets Osceola County Cindy M. Rothfield, P.A., 822 W. Bryan St., Kissim- mee • Walden Books, 3105 W. Vine St., Kissimmee • Select Publix Supermarkets • Verandah Place Realty, 504 Celebration Ave., Celebration HANDYMAN SERVICE Handy man and General Maintenance • Air Conditioning • Electrical • Plumbing • Carpentry Formerly handled maintenance at JCC References available STEVE'S SERVICES Call Steve Doyle at (386) 668-8960 The Plumbing Service Company Personal Service at Affordable Prices REPAIRS • REMODELING • DRAIN CLEANING RE-PIPING • HOT WATER HEATERS & MORE 24 HOUR EMERGENCY SERVICE 407-381-7900  www theplumbingservicecompany com Licensed - Bonded - Insured 10% Labor Discount for Senior Citizens CFCO :: .... =lo:oo**f .... 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