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June 20, 2003     Heritage Florida Jewish News
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June 20, 2003
 

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HERITAGE FLORIDA JEWISH NEWS, JUNE 20, 2003 PAGE 9 By Gloria Yousha -- Call 407-657-9405 or 407-834-8787 Not exactly chump change but I don't consider one hundred thousand dollars "chump change" but in today's world, it's not a major fortune either. But a young Palestinian Muslim might see that figure in a different light. For instance, his situation would most likely be a life without beer, no television, no sports, no pork, no hot dogs, no burgers He would have to wear a traditional "towel" wrapped around his head He wouldn't be allowed to shave and what's worse his wife wouldn't shave either (His bride was chosen by someone else). He would be living in poverty. Then some Saudi Royal Family member offers his family one hundred thousand dollars if, as the "breadwinner he should die suddenly," Hello, suicide/homicide bomber wannabe! And because our State Department is so fearful of upsetting the Saudi Royals, they look thi~ other way as terrorists in Israel are being funded to do their dirty deeds. As long as this is going on, so much for President Bush's ?Roadmap to Peace" in the Middle East. It is as much a work of fiction as Bing Crosby and Bob Hope in their Road to Morocco movie. Okay someone made this suggestion to me: Let's take members of Hamas from Israeli jails and shackle them (five or six) to a bus. Maybe that would deter the suicide/ homicide bomber from blowing it up! (Nope It wouldn't work as long as the Saudi Royals pay the family of each shackled Hamas member at least $100,000. And they will do so justifying their actions by claiming each was their family's "breadwinner.") How hopeless. I'm depressed so here's a joke: A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at'him and says, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask You something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you've asked me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you have asked me if I was German? Or if I had asked for a kosher hot dog, would you have asked rne if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco, would you have asked if I were Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would Ya?" The clerk said, "Well no." With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy said, "Well, airight then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I asked for Polish sausage?" The clerk replied, "Because this is Home Depot." (Oy) There is a lot happening in the stock market these days Some very interesting mergers: Xerox just merged with Wurlitzer. (They plan to make repro- ductive organs). Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers merged and Will be called Fairwell Honeychild. And finally, Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants will merge and call the new company Poupon Pants. People in the spotlight Everyone is talking about Senator Hillary Clinton and her new autobiography, Living History. I met and sang for Hillary when I performed with the Jimmy horsey Orchestra in Little Rock, Arkansas, right after President Bill Clinton was elected for a first term and then again when he was President-elect for his second term. Both times, Hillary was there but Bill was elsewhere. (l'Immmmmm). And recently, on the same day Hillary was holding a book- Signing in New York, our own LESLIE HALPERN was holding a book-signing right here in Winter Park at BooM-A-Million. Leslie, a former Heritage associate editor, was featured in a recent Orlando Sentinel article about her new book, Dreams on I~lrn (McFarland & Company, Inc 2003). I won't go into detail now, except to say that Leslie will be doing book-signings in our area in the near future and also has another book, ReelRomance (to be published in 2004 by Cooper Square Press.) to give you the locations and details when I know ~iebrating 50 years? No wayl ALAN ROCK would have started at age two if 50 years were COrrect! The man just isn't that old although his jokes are! haThis vibrant (and sexy) man has been in broadcasting for a If-century. Yup! It s true[ And Alan will be celebrating that fact on Sunday, June 29, at noon, at the Westin Grand Bohemian Hotel, e Avenue and Jackson Street, Orlando. ~wpACtually Alan started back in 1953 with a radio program on B Radio in Miami at the tender age of 18. . His career has been long and luminous in radio and even in television, where for years he was the beloved clown, Bozo! I remember Alan as Bozo the Clown right here on WFTV hannei Nine. ALAN ROCK (1) and Dr. K. He was just the best Bozo ever. (Ask my sons!) Currently Alan Rock (or "A-Rock" as he is affectionately known) can be heard on his morning drive show from 6 a.m. until 10 a.m. Monday through Friday on WUCF Radio, 89.9 FM. The music he plays is just the best straight ahead jazz and a lot of"Oie Blue Eyes," Frank Sinatra. And Alan's jokes well would you believe? His jokes are even worse than mine! If you would like to join Alan in his celebration, you are very welcome. The food will be fabulous, the live music (possibly including a jazz jam) will be exciting, and Alan is always entertaining and funny. For more details, call the hotel at 407-313-9000. And speaking of clowns like Alan (as Bozo, of course) I know another wonderful clown personally! You may know APRIL VAN KLEECK as the Central Service Coordinator at the Jewish Community Center but how many of you know about her double life? Sounds intriguing, yes? Lik~ a spy or something. April is also knbwn as Zippy the clown, a charming, color- ful character who interacts beautifully with children. In fact, April is owner of Parties By April (a.k.a. Zippy The Clown) and has been mak- ing children's events in the Central Florida area since 1992. She takes the hassle out of planning and making a party for the parents, who then can APRIL FAN KLEECK alkla attendtheeventasiftheywere Zippy the Clown. among the guests. (Sounds heavenly.) April is very versatile and creative when it comes to party themes. She can either expand upon your idea Or come up with her own. She specializes in birthdays, bridal showers, baby showers, bar/bat mitzvahs, office parties and holiday parties. And it does not matter whether your event is planned for your home or for a park, recreation center or other facility. April will do it and make it memorable! You can reach her at . Art: Jeff, (my "big" boss). Why not let April plan a circus for us at Heritage? (Working here is like a cir- cus anyway.) Keeping fit BARB ELKIN is always fit! Maybe that's because she is the program director at Or- lando Fit, a terrific walking and marathon training pro- gram for all ages. The last day to register for the next session is Sunday, June 22 at a new location, Sweetwater Oaks Clubhouse, on FoxValley Drive and Wekiva Springs Road. Not only do you get into shape and develop good health habits, you make good friends at Orlando Fit. This can benefit BARB ELKIN program everyone from teen to senior See "Scene Around" on page 10 EWISH NEWS can be purchased at the following locations: On CE CouNty 851 2624 JCC Cascades Florist N. Maitland Ave. 10069 University Blvd. Maitland Orlando Too Jays Cacades Florist E. Colonial Drive 711 N. Alafaya Trail Orlando Orlando 600 Borders Too Jays North Orlando Ave.715 N. Alafaya Trail Winter Park Orlando, FL 32828 Q Southwest Orlando Jewish Congregation 11200 S. Apopka Vineland Rd. Orlando SEMINOLE COUNTY Heritage News Amira Kosher Market 207 O'Brien Rd. 1351 E. Altamonte Dr. Fern Park Altamonte Springs Borders Books and Music Bagel King 880 W. S. R. 436 1472 Semoran Blvd. Altamonte Springs Casselberry Borders Books and Music Too Jays 515 E. Altamonte Dr. Altamonte Springs Kosher Kats Bekah's Bakery 1255 Belle Ave. #116910 Sand Lake Rd Ste. 18 Winter Springs Altamonte Springs The Taboule Factory Too Jays 830 S. County Road 427 3577 Lake Emma Road Longwood Lake Mary Osc o CoUNTY Goodings Super Market 600 Market Street Celebration 8285 Red Bug Lake Rd. Oviedo ii i i ~OOJ The Traditional Mohel Rabba Israel J. Barzak CERTIFI D MOHEL SP CtALlST t . ,s '' Whether Its a boy or girl, call for Free Comprehensive Brochure 118 Willow Bend Lane Tel: 386-673-5535 Ormond Beach, FL 32714 e-marl: ijb@shawus.com -- Randy Ames, ABR, GRI REALTOR Watson Realty Corp S ALrOR 1425 W. SR 434 Longwood, FL 32750 randyatWat @ aol.com 407-622-8503 Exemplary Service & Superb Results WWW.JERRYWHITE PHOTO.COM QUALITY CREATIVE PHOTOGRAPHY A FULL SERVICE COMMERCIAL STUDIO PORTRAITS. WEDDINGS. BAR/BAT MITZVAHS. SPECIAL EVENTS. ADVERTISING, BROCHURES, CATALOGS STUDIO: 407-774-1992 Ask us about our EMAIL: JWPi@CFL.RR.COM LIFETIME Portrait Program 907 SONJA PLACE free with Wedding and Album purchase FOREST CITY, FLORIDA 32703 Custom Windows and Doors Will your windows weather the next storm? Energy efficient replacement windows Gutters and down spouts Screen enclosures Siding Soffit and facia S. Klein Contractors ~ Financing Available 2478 Tahoe Circle Steve Klein Winter Park, FL 32792 407-657-0158