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Heritage Florida Jewish News
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May 16, 2003     Heritage Florida Jewish News
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May 16, 2003

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HERITAGE FLORIDA JEWISH NEWS, MAY 16, 2003 By Gloria Yousha -- Call 407-657-9405 or 407-834-8787 Road map to Mideast peace Sounds like a dream, right? But will it work? When one thinks of the two cultures Jews who long for peace and to live the good life with family; ts opposed to Muslims, whose majority seem to long for ven- geance, bloodshed and martyrdom I don't hold out much hope. Is my "telling it like it is" depressing you? Me too! Time for a joke! There were two Jewish women (Ruth and Golda) walking 10ng the street. Ru " " thsays toGolda, My son, Irvmg, ts finally gettmg married. lie tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but he thinks she ~ay have a disease called Herpes. . Colda, says to Ruth, "Do you have any idea what this Herpes ~, and can he catch it?" Ruth answers, I don't know, but I am just so thrilled to hear t Irving's engagement. It's past time he's settled. As far as goes who knows?" Golda says, "I have a very fine medical dictionary at look it up and call you," So, Golda goes home, looks it up, and calls Ruth itRuth, keyn eynhore, I found it. Not to worry! says Herpes is a disease of the Gentiles!" (And speaking of Gentiles ) In a recent column I told you about French s mustard being in America and not in France like to hear about the new facility building in Israel. "Cheeses of Nazareth." groaner if I ever heard one.) ever read "Dear Abby" in the Orlando Sentinel? ere's a letter that caught my eye: d is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from HANDI-MAN & PAINTER confront him he denies everything. What's worse is know he cheats on me. It is so humiliating! ost his job two years ago, he hasn't even looked a new one while I work to pay the bills. since our daughter went away to college and higher he doesn't even pretend to like me anymore. I do?" Clueless response: him. you became a New York Senator you don't need him Speaking of the military How do ya like those dolphins? I'm not talking about the Miami Dolphins Football team. Rather the dolphins in the Persian Gulf who, during the Iraqi war, searched out mines. It seems the dolphins can find the mines without dan- ger of setting them off and getting blown up unlike American warships that will set them off. Too bad they didn't have such trained creatures when my youngest son served on a minesweeper in the Persian Gulf. He was called "an iron man on a wooden ship." The dolphins are a much better idea (according to this service mother.) And on land, the military has dogs who sniff out bombs, grenades and other explosives. They were pressed into service during the Iraqi war especially an adorable Springer Spaniel named BUSTER. Godspeed, Buster and thank you. Animals are so wonderful, they deserve our help. Here is an easy way to help them in a big way. Just go to this site on your computer: once each day and click on the button that says "Feed An Animal In Need (click for free)." Your click means that contributor's ads are being seen on that site, and in exchange the advertisers promise to provide the value of six bowls of food plus care for a rescued animal in a shelter or sanctuary for every click. So visit often and click away! This is no joke. You will be doing a mitzvah for deserving animals with just a click a day! Speaking of dogs what's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you! Changing the subject to music People often ask me where they can go to hear fine piano playing. Really great (world class) pianists are few and far be- )lain about this to me! Remember, I'm a lifelong but this was too funny not to print. Besides, I'm an basher!) of people in high office ght young man in our community. name is STEPHEN SAMUEL SOLOMON. the son of attorney, MARK ELLIS SOLOMON and SOLOMON CUTHBERT, is a member of the United Corps ROTC at Edgewater High School. OFFICE O U T I. E T : ~'DItEN SAMUEL SOLOMON and MARK SOLOMON he won an award from the American Veterans of Wars for being an outstanding Cadet. 15, is an all-around American guy. military career, is athletic and loves running member of the Rifle Club at Edgewater High School. character that comes with having strong principles I, for one, am so grateful that this is in our midst. to know of him and can only imagine how proud Mark and Wynter, and grandparents, IRVING SANDRA SOLOMON of Casselberry, are. CAROL STEIN at the piano. tween, especially here in the south. We have one in our own community, however, and she can be heard regularly on Tuesday nights at Timpanos Italian Chophouse, 7488 W. Sand Lake Rd, (just west of I- 4) in Orlando. I'm referring to CAROL STEIN, who also sings! Carol will be appearing at Timpanos on Tuesdays from 7:30-11:30 p.m. Stop by and tell her I send my love. And once you hear her, you will want more So I'm happy to report that Carol will be appearing with her fine jazz musicians at the Central Florida Jazz Society concert on Sunday, June 8, 2-5 p.m. at the Elks Lodge, 4755 Howell Branch Road, Winter Park. For more details, call CFJS at 407-539-2357. I couldn't resist A proud young Jewish mother sees her son off to school on his very first day in kindergarten. "Be a good boy, my bubaleh," she says to him. " Be careful and think of your mommy, tataleh!" She continues "Come right home on the bus, schein kindalehl Mummy loves you very much, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the day, she's waiting for the bus and sweeps him into her arms. "And what did my pupaleh learn on his first day at school," she asks? He replies, "I learned that my name is David." 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