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May 7, 2004     Heritage Florida Jewish News
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May 7, 2004
 

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FLC.n~ ~A JEWi~l ~"WS, I/.AY 7, 2004 PAr~ '~ By Gloria Yousha -- Call 407-657-9405 or 407-834-8787 is this? came to Iraq to eliminate Saddam not to imitate him! k.talking about those lewd photographs our military took doesn't have to like the enemy in fact, you can hate ir horrific acts but, while they are contained and should be treated with dignity. " really upsets me whenever I hear Saudi Arabia men- our American media as "a key U.S. ally." WOnder if they still have those midrasas (schools to teach of Americans and Jews) up and running? Is so little in the headlines to laugh about these days to include jokes in this column because laughing has proven to be a healthy stress buster. the Orlando Muslim community feels as I do and Jsman, a standup comic who is not afraid to touch topics, to perform his act at the Muslim Commu- recently. Lg humor, he touched his audience and the much needed laughter we all crave. about being stared at everywhere he goes, and looked at suspiciously while on an aircraft. )le give me some nasty looks on the airplane," he said, that "everyone is much nicer after the plane lands "Man? What is that Lord?" The Lord answered, "Man is a flawed creature with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain but in most cases he will be bigger, faster, stronger and will like to hunt and kill things. I will create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physioal needs although he will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He will not be as smart as you, so he may need your advice to think properly. "This sounds great, Lord," said Eve, "but what is the catch?" "Well you can have him on one condition." "And what is that, Lord?" "As I said, he will be proud, arrogant and self-admiring, so you will have to let him believe that I made him first!" Speaking of boys who cook COREY GOLDBERG, 12, is a terrific cook who once attended cooking camp. He takes after his late grandfather, Larry Goldberg, who also loved to cook. Corey, the son of JONATHAN GOLDBERG of Longwood, and the grandson of ETHEL GOLDBERG of Longwood and St.Petersburg, has many talents. his audiences that he is "a patriotic American." of his lines, for instance, is this: a patriotic American. And a Muslim. Which for this country by blowing myself up." means I humor, Azhar. Not to worry. joke that you can use: iust arrived in Canada as "immigrants, they rom Palestine." L day the ten year old son attended school in Montreal, by his teacher to introduce himself. "I just arrived from Palestine and my name is teacher told him that she would find it easier to just call e. Liking the new name, the boy went along with the JON VOIGHT and COREY GOLDBERG. he returned home, his mother called, "Mohammed, e about your first day at school." did not answer. mother asked why he didn't respond he answered, is Mop. It is no longer Mohammed. r slapped him. returned from work, he too, tried to call his got no response ~he explained that he had changed his name, his father n he went to school, his teacher asked him yesterday? you believe it? My first day as an immigrant in was already attacked by two Arab terrorists!" of "Mother's Day" mothers: mothers who have sat up all night with sick wiping throw-up, have said, "It's okay, honey, LORI can be purchased at the following locations: O] mcE Coumv * JCC -Cascades Florist 851 N. Maitland Ave. 10069 University Blvd. Maitland Orlando Too Jays Cascades Florist 2624 E. Colonial Drive 711 N. Alafaya Trail Orlando Orlando 600 Borders North Orlando Ave. Winter Park Southwest Orlando Jewish Congregation 11200 S. Apopka Vineland Rd. Orlando SEMINOLE COUNTY Heritage News Amira Kosher Market 207 O'Brien Rd. 1351 E. Altamonte Dr. Fern Park AItamonte Springs Borders Books and Music Bagel King 880 W. S. R. 436 1472 Semoran Blvd. Altamonte Springs Casselberry Borders Books and Music M & E Photography 8285 Red Bug Lake Rd. 3577 Lake Emma Road Oviedo Lake Mary Kosher Kats Bekah's Bakery 1255 Belle Ave. #116 910 Sand Lake Rd Sty. 18 Winter Springs Altamonte Springs Oscnota Goodings Super Market 600 Market Street Celebration Mercedes-Benz Come see Tammy for your new Mercedes-Benz 810 North Orlando Ave. Maitland, FL 32751 407-621-6913 407-463-I 393 show up at work with spit-up in their stains on their blouse; mothers who run carpools and make cookies(and mothers who don't); Jrth to babies the mothers who gave b" they'll never who took those babies and gave them good the mothers whose priceless art collections are ]gyrator doors; the mothers who go hungry so their children ar all the mothers who read Goodnight, Moon twice and then again when asked, "Just one more all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and sink a jump shot; Miss Florida and COREY GOLDBERG. He is artistic and musical with a background in singing, violin and piano. Yet, this Rock Lake Middle School student aspires to do video production when he grows up. Corey has been given a great start in the film realm as he recently met and spoke with an Academy Award winning actor, JON VOIGHT. Voight was a special guest at the recent 2004 To Life award dinner sponsored by the Florida Holocaust Museum of St. Petersburg. The special event honors outstanding individuals in the community. Corey also had the pleasure of speaking with the current Miss Florida. mothers whose children have gone astray, Among family members who attended with Corey were his Words to reach them; . dad, Jonathan, and grandmother, Ethel, his uncle, KEITH e mothers who taught their children to be GOLDBERG of Longwood, andgreat aunt and uncle, MARLENE now pray they come home safely from a war zone. and JOSEPH SIMMENS of St. Petersburg. s a good mother anyway? Speaking of guys and cooking kow " all or grown) what they You ask your child (sm ~ arty No matter owner/chef of Donatello s Restaurant, but he sure looks good! n mattertheanswer'"Akidne" LerYYou'. m hfe You I don t know if he can cook like FRANCESCO ABBINANTI, you will say "Yes, of course a e y " . I love Donatello's for the food and also because they play Frank Sinatra recordings exclusively wow here comes my Sa e h,ne ' everywhere. Have a happy day! else for all the mothers and grandmothers God in the Garden of Eden: said, "I have a problem." problem, Eve?" me and provided this beautiful garden animals, but I am just not happy." m that case I have a solution. I shall create a man theme song ("The Lady is a Tramp.") JASON GILMAN, known to his customers as "Gii," is the guy I am referring to. Together with Brooklyn born, SHARON KOKEN, these wait- ers make this restaurant feel like "old home week" for me. (You noticed I'm putting on weight, didn't you?) A perfect way to spend Mother's Day Take your morn or the mother of your children to see See "Scene Around" on page 10 N SERVICE Handy man and General Maintenance Air Conditioning Electrical Plumbing Carpentry Formerly handled maintenance at JCC References available STEVE'S SERVICES Call Steve Doyle at (386) 668-8960 Klein Brothers I "The Good Guys" I Energy Efficient Windo s & Doorsll~ I Aluminum. Vinyl ~~l Custom Porch Enclosures ~ U I I Screen Rooms Sofit & Facia ~ I~i I "No Telemarketers" "No Hassle Quotes" KLEIN BROTHERS CORPORATION 20+ years experience - References 235 Marvin Ave Longwood 407.260.5022 407.657.0158 State Certified CRC1326954