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March 13, 2009     Heritage Florida Jewish News
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March 13, 2009
 

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HERITAGE FLORIDA JEWISH NEWS, MARCH 13, 2009 PAGE 9A By Gloria Yousha -- Call 407-657-9405 or 407-834-8787 Jason Mesnick Watch "The Bachelor" again?... I really don&apos;t think so. Not after this season, filled with tears, knocking down his son whenever he saw him, and changing his mind about the perfect mate. I've always tried to be home on Mondays at 8 p.m., not wanting to miss an epi- sode...but this season was the last straw for me. Bachelor JASON MESN- ICK (gee, I hope he's not one of us) claims he fell in love with two girls and right up until the end, he wasn't sure which one he loved. He decided, with much pain and downright crying, to choose MELISSA and send MOLLY home. He even got on his knees and placed the engagement ring on Melissa's finger! Six weeks later, he apparently claims he had a change of heart, sent the wrong girl packing and wanted to continue with the right girl! He has also been appearing on television everywhere For instance, "Good Morning America," "The View" and "Jimmy Kimmel Live." Jimmy (also not one of us) even said, when Jason specu- lated that he and Melissa would become friends someday, "Yeah, you and Melissa, and Israel and Iraq." (I think Jimmy knew what he was saying.) The Bachelor didn't turn out the way I thought... Here's one I hope turned out well, but I simply don't know. You see, I am writing be- fore the fact. You are reading this after the fact. Winter Park elected its new Mayor on March 10. Because he is a dog lover as I am, I hope that KEN BRADLEYwon. He promises to keep Fleet Peeples Park leash-free for dogs, instead of having weekend and holi- day restrictions. Did he win? I like the other gent also, but he hasn't the same dedi- cation to dogs as Ken does... or at least, he hasn't gone on Ken Bradley record as such. Anyway, I will find out soon enough. And, of course, you know already! What a great segue... Once again I can remind the readers to go to this Web site: <theanimalrescuesite.com> and click on the large purple button. Your simple act of kindness will give .6 bowls of food to rescued animals. Thank you, animal lovers! GAIL MARCUS phoned this in... I found it very funny. Hopefully you will too. "Let's introduce some of the newWhite House staff," she said: RAHM EMANUEL, chief of staff to Pres. DAVID AXELROD, senior advisor RONALD KLAIN, chief of staff to V.P. LARRY SUMMERS, economic advisor PETER ORSZAG, head of budget "Has anyone noticed," she said, "OBAMA isn't gathering a staff, rather, a minyan." (As of this writing he is still short.) Attention jazz lovers... Yes, it's that time again! On Sunday, March 22, at 3 p.m., there will be a big band concert by the Altamonte Springs Jazz Ensemble, under the direction of MIKE ARENA. This matinee concert will feature saxophonist, DANIEL JORDAN, formerly with MAYNARD FERGUSON and cur- rently touring with ARTURO SANDOVAL. Danny is also a friend of mine and quite a talent! Another friend, singer LINDA COLE, also will be featured at this concert. It will be held at the Eastmonte Civic Center, 830 Magnolia Drive (offofRonald Reagan Boulevard), Altamonte Springs. Admission is still only $5 per person. For more information, phone 407-322-7528. "Cuchi Cuchi" is coming to town... I think you know who I mean. But if you don't: CHARO will be in concert on March 28 at the Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center, Sanford, for one show only. Charo is a household name, instantly recognizable for her witty humor, loveable accent and mastery of the flamenco guitar. You have seen her many times on many different television shows. For ticket prices and other information, phone the box office at 407-321-8111. A lot of interesting book signings... Just check this lineup and know what is happening for this week at Urban Think! Bookstore: On Saturday, March 14 at 1 p.m., STEVE RAJTAR signs historic photos of the University of Florida. Calling all University of Florida fans and alumni! Be on hand for this very special Charo event as local author, Steve Rajtar signs his big, beautiful new book, "Historic Photos of the University of Florida." Urban Think! Is proud to host this popular author's lat- est book, a beautiful keepsake for all with a connection to the University. Come and meet Steve and enjoy a very special afternoon right here at Urban Think! Bookstore. Go Gators! On Thursday, March 19 at 5:30 p.m. MARK HOSE will sign his novel "Table For One." Local author Mark Hose, recently with Baker, Barrios Architects, has penned a delightful new novel. In "Table for One," he tells the story of Dylan Locane, 32, who relies on entertaining friendships to camouflage his inner demon. As his desire to end his romantic void begins to erode his social popularity and auspicious career, Dylan wonders: Is it possible to be happy not just content or appreciative, but truly happy living a"Table for One" lifestyle? Through various Adventures--some comical, some tortuous, some insight- ful Dylan discovers the answer to his haunting question. On Thursday, March 19 at 7:30 p.m.The Poetry Ensemble of Orlando will read from its latest anthology, "Connections." The collection includes original poems about the ways in which people connect with others and with the world around them. And to put those connections into action, the poets have offered to donate the proceeds from their book sales to Page 15, the local literacy nonprofit that is funded by the Urban Think! Foundation. Urban Think! is a bookstore in Thornton Park that spe- cializes in local authors and community events. The money it makes is all redirected into a nonprofit foundation that helps struggling students learn to read. The store is unique. Its mission is noble. And yet the state of Florida helps out-of-state booksellers, like Amazon. com, undercut Urban Think! Urban Think! Bookstore is at 625 E. Central Blvd. Orlando. One for the road... Bill Gates decides to organize an enormous session of recruitment for a chairman for Microsoft Europe. The 5,000 candidates are all assembled in a large room. One of the candidates is Maurice Cohen, a little Parisian Jew. Bill Gates thanks all the candidates for coming and asks that all those who do not know the programming language JAVA PLUS to rise and leave. Two thousand people rise and leave the room. But Maurice Cohen says to himself. "I don't know this language, but vat haff I got to lose if I stay? I'll give it a try." Bill Gates then asks all remaining candidates who have never had experience of team management of more than 100 people to rise and leave. Two thousand people rise and leave the room. But Maurice Cohen says to himself, "Oy, I never man- aged anyvun but myself, but vat haff I got to lose if I stay? What can happen to me?" So he stays. Bill Gates then asks all remaining candidates who don't have degrees in people management to rise and leave. Five hundred people rise and leave the room. But Maurice Cohen says to himself, "Oy Vay, I left school at 15 so I never vent to university, but vat haff I got to lose if I stay?" So he stays in the room. Bill Gates finally asks all the remaining candidates who don't speak Serbo-Croatian to rise and leave, and 498 people rise and leave the room. But Maurice Cohen says to himself, "Oy Vay Zmir, I don't speak Serbo-Croatian, but vat the hell! Haff I got anything to lose?" So he stays in the room and finds himself alone with one other candidate everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joins them and says, "Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croatian, so I'd now like to hear you both have a little conversation in that language." Calmly, Maurice Cohen turns to the other candidate and says to him, "Ma nishtana halaila hazeh mikol halelot." The other candidate answers, "Shebechol halelot anu ochlin hamatz umatza." (Well, Bill Gates didn't understand...and Passover is just around the corner!) can be purchased at the following locations: Orange County JCC, 851 N. Maitland Ave., Maitland • Borders, 600 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park • SOJC, 11200 S. Apopka Vineland Rd., Orlando • Central Florida Hil- lel, 12321 University Blvd., Orlando • Select Publix Supermarkets Seminole County Heritage News, 207 O'Brien Rd., Fern Park • Amira's Kosher Market, 1351 E. Altamonte Dr., Altamonte Springs • Borders Books and Music, 880 W. S.R. 436, Altamonte Springs • Bagel King, 1472 Semoran Blvd., Casselberry • Borders Books and Music, 8285 Red Bug Lake Rd., Oviedo • Kosher Kats, 744 W. S.R. 434, Longwood • Select Publix Supermarkets Volusia County Federation of Volusia/Flagler, 470 Andalusia Ave., Ormond Beach • Select Publix Supermarkets Osceola County Cindy M. Rothfield, RA., 822 W. Bryan St., Kissim- mee • Walden Books, 3105 W. 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