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February 13, 2009     Heritage Florida Jewish News
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February 13, 2009

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HERITAGE FLORIDA JEWISH NEWS, FEBRUARY 13, 2009 PAGE 9A By Gloria Yousha -- Call 407-657-9405 or 407-834-8787 Hamas... a terrorist group?... This comes directly from the internet: JERUSALEM (AP)--Hamas police seized thousands of blan- kets and food packages meant for the needy in Gaza, the U.N. said (last) Wednesday [Feb.4L a move that could threaten the provision of aid essential for a majority of Gaza&apos;s impoverished residents. Christopher Gunness, a spokesman for the United Nations Relief and Works Agency, said Hamas policemen broke into an aid warehouse in Gaza City (last)Tuesday [Feb. 3] evening and confiscated 3,500 blankets and more than 400 packages of food. "They were armed, they seized this, they took it by force," Gunness said, terming the seizure "absolutely unacceptable." He said police confiscated aid meant for 500 families after U.N. officials refused to voluntarily hand it over to the Hamas-run Ministry of Social Affairs. Similar U.N. aid packages had already been distributed to 70,000 residents over the past two weeks. The U.N. agency provides food, education and health care to more than half of Gaza's 1.4 million residents, but tensions between the UNRWA and Hamas could harm international donations. "Does anyone really think that the Americans, who are our single largest donor, or the Europeans, who are our largest multination donor, would give us aid in the generous way they do if they thought that aid would go to terrorists?" Gunness said. (Is the United Nations finally admitting that Hamas is a terrorist organization? I'm shocked!) Let's change the subject... Something that makes me smile. Rather, someone who makes me smile: I refer to JOYCE SIEGAL. Joyce and her loving husband, DAVID, and their children lived here in the Orlando area for many years. For many years, Joyce and Dave live over at Satellite Beach, but have been visiting in Maitland for the past couple of weeks. Their son and daughter still live in the Orlando area as well as other family members. Joyce, who is one very smart lady, said this awhile back and does it ever make sense: "Are these the golden years they promised us? They are golden but not for us... rather Joyce Siegal for our doctors!" (Ain't that the truth!) I went to visit Joyce the other day at her sister's house and to my surprise and delight, JASON KING, the 3-year old son of JANET and TRACY KING, little brother of MILES KING, age 7, and grandson of MAX and RUTH MOGUL, was visiting. What a bright kid Jason is! They don't come any cuter! He had me from his first smile, and when he believed that I made the lunch that his grandma ordered in, well... what can I say? I was in love! Seeing Joyce and Dave was great, but meeting Jason was definitely a highlight for me! I feel like a joke... (Did I hear someone out there say I was a joke?) One day three men were Jason King hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side but had no idea of how to do so. The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, but only after almost drowning a couple of times. Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength.., and the tools to cross this river." HANDYMAN SERVICE Handy man and General Maintenance • Air Conditioning • Electrical • Plumbing • Carpentry Formerly handled maintenance at JCC References available STEVE'S SERVICES Call Steve Doyle at (386) 668-8960 Poofi God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, but only after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times. The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools...and the intelligence.., to cross this river." And poofi God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge. (I love this joke.) Look who's coming to town... No, not Santa Clause. This is a Jewish newspaper, after all. The Vogues will be appearing at the Wayne Densch Perform- ing Arts Center in Sanford on Feb. 28. This is what the press says about them: "The Vogues outstanding talent, stylish delivery and tre- mendous audience rapport have made them one of the most in demand groups in the world today. Highlighting an already illustrious career by being inducted into the Vocal Hall of Fame in 2001, the Vogues sound is incredible." For ticket information, phone the box office at407-321-8111. Don't forget the children... The Velveteen Rabbit, adapted by Patrick Flick, based on the book by Margery Williams, is being performed now through Feb. 22 at the Goldman Theater. Performances are each Saturday at 2 p.m. and each Sunday at 4:30 p.m. It is all part of the Orlando Shakespeare theater experience in partnershipwith the University of Central Florida. Tickets are $10 for all seats, and there will be autograph ses- sions after each performance. For more information, phone the box office at 407-447-1701 And speaking of animals... NOT the velveteen kind, rather the real ones. You can feed them without ever leaving your home if you have a computer. Just go to and click on the large purple button. You can do this once each day, and the result will be that homeless animals in shelters will be fed .6 bowls of food each time you click. One for the road... A rabbi, a priest and a minister were talking one day, The priest told of an occasion when he was caught in a snowstorm so terrible that he couldn't see a foot in front of him. He was completely confused, unsure even of which direction he needed to walk. He prayed to God, and miraculously, while the storm continued for miles in every direction, he could clearly see his home 20 feet away. The minister told a similar story. He had been out on a small boat when a heavy storm struck. There were 20-foot high waves, and the boat was sure to capsize. He prayed to God, and, while the storm continued all around, for several feet in each direction, the sea calmed, and the minister was able to return safely to port. The rabbi, too, had such a story. One Shabbat morning, on the way home from his synagogue, he saw a very thick wad of $20 bills in the gutter. Of course, since it was Shabbat, the rabbi wasn't able to touch the money. So he prayed to God, and everywhere, for miles in every direction, it was still Shabbat, but for 10 feet around him, it was Thursday. And one more... Another rabbi, priest and minister joke: A rabbi, a priest and a minister are discussing what they do with donations to their respective religious organizations. The minister says that he draws a circle on the floor, throws the money up in the air, and whatever lands in the circle, he gives to God, and whatever lands outside the circle, he keeps. The priest uses a similar method. He draws the circle, but whatever lands outside the circle, he gives to God, and whatever lands inside, he keeps. The rabbi has a slightly different method of dividing the money. He throws all the money up in the air. Whatever God wants, he keeps. ALLIANCE FOR NEIGHBORS, INC. P. O. 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