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January 16, 2009     Heritage Florida Jewish News
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January 16, 2009
 

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f ) r . .... HERITAGE FLORIDA JEWISH NEWS,&apos;JANUARY i6'2009 i By Gloria Yousha -- Call 407,657-9405 or 407-834-8787 Here we go again... Now Israel has rockets coming from Lebanon. Doesn't anybody see a plan by Iran here? Anyway...about the so-called "measured response" the United Nations is referring to. Picture this: (Don't I sound like Sophia from The Golden Girls?) Rockets are being launched from Cuba and hitting the United States...namely Florida. Would we answer that attack with a "measured re- sponse?" I don't think so! I read this and want to pass it on... It is titled "New Year Wishes for a Better America" written by Philip Frazer and Jim Hightower, editors of The Lowdown, a newsletter that comes in the mail: "To celebrate the big changes in Washington in 2009, we've come up with our new year's wishes for some special people. For members of Congress, for example, we wish that, from now on, all 535 of them will restrict themselves to the exact same level of annual pay, health care and pension that the typical citizen gets. No more, no less. If they have to live as we do, we bet they'd take a personal interest in raising everyone's standard of living! For the CEO's of Citigroup, Bank of America, JP Morgan Chase and all the other barons of Wall Street whose ponzi schemes crashed our economy, we've sent hand lettered pink slips. (With gold leaf edging of course.) Having made such a mess, why should they still be on the job? With time on their hands, some might even have a moral epiphany and volunteer with Habitat For Humanity to help a few of the families who were ruined by Wall Street's machi- nations. For George W, "Buckshot" Cheney and Karl Rove, we chose leather bound copies of "Constitutional Law for Dummies." This might come in handy this year as they wonder why they are being hauled before grand juries and being subpoenaed by Congressional committees. Bush could also use his copy as a starter book for his new, secretly funded presidential library. And we've sent President-elect Obama a jumbo glue gun filled with super glue. when the corporate lobbyists'and business-as-usual politi- cians descend, Obama can give himself a shot to stiffen his spine so he can stand up firmly for the people's interest." (Don't you just love it too?) LARRY WARTELL sent this... He said his brother recently came across the exercise regime for people over 50 on the internet and he thought it would do some good for my "readers." At first I was insulted, thinking he was telling me to lose weight. Then I read it through to the end: "Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5 -pound potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute and then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-pound potato Larry Wartell sacks. Then try 50-pound potato sacks and then eventu- ally try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (Larry says he is at this level.) After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks." The Harriett Lake Festi- val... The Harriett Lake Festi- val of New Plays, PlayFest, sponsored by HARRIETT LAKE, begins on Jan. 23 and will run through Feb. 1 at the Margeson, Goldman and Mandell Theaters, part of the Orlando Shakespeare Theater in partnership with UCF. For further information, call the box office at 407-447-1701. PlayFest is a 10-day celebra- tion packedwith dynamic new play readings, workshops, panel discussions and keynote addresses from nationally recognized playwrights. The mission of PlayFest Harriett Lake is to celebrate and cultivate new plays, nurture new play- wrights and introduce the community to new theatrical voices. Did you see the wonderful presentation...? I'm talking about the Cha- nukah celebration on WMFE over the holidays. Most charming and won- derful, was Cantor ALBERTO MIZRAHI, singing beloved Sephardic Chanukah songs in Spanish. The entire program was inspiring except maybe for the rock 'n' roll version of "The Dreidle Song." Cantor Alberto Mizrahi I recently heard from BON- NIE CHARYN... "Hello from Bonnie's Puppet Palace. We have some very special productions for January and February. Our royalty shows, The Princess And The Magic Diamond theme responsibility, and Winter, Winter, Winter And The Princes Party theme perseverance featuring our stunning royal puppets. All shows are interactive, value oriented and enchanting entertainment. Thirty-minute story followed by singing songs from the show and musical instrument interaction bells, tambourines, etc. with the audience. There are two size theatre productions available... 3 feet by 2 feet and 5 feet by 4 feet theatres. Shows last about an hour. Capture a lasting memory and take a picture using your camera with the puppets after the show. Our web site is <www.geocities.com/handpuppets2000/>-. You can email or phone for pricing details. We also do wonderful birthday parties and can create a very special time. Join us soon for puppet theatre magic." To find out more, phone Bonnie's Puppet Palace at 407- 422-2562. One for the road... Talk about the media: There was a lovely story in the press this month. A retired truck driver and his wife entered a competition in which the first prize was a holiday for two in Hong Kong. They always wanted to go there, but they got the second prize of "A year of passion." When they received the prize, it turned out to be 365 condoms. He told a reporter, "! couldn't believe it. I'm 64 years old, and I have a bad back. My wife has just had her hip replaced. If I was a young chap, still able to have sex I suppose I'd be happy. But these days, I'd be lucky if I get a stiff neck." He is now trying to sell his prize. And one more... Rebecca takes her boyfriend Howard to see her parents to allow them to 'pass judgment' on him. "Hello Howard," says her father, "it's nice to meet you. Where do you live?" "Near Orlando," he replies. "Near Orlando?" interrupts Rebecca, "He's too modest, Dad. He owns a 10-bedroom mansion with three acres of land in Winter Park." "Well, that's nice, Howard," says her father, "so what do you do for a living?" "Oh, I own a bit of property," he answers. "A bit of property?" interrupts Rebecca again, "why, Howard owns 10 percent of the Florida Mall and much of the new Mall of Milenia." "Well, that's nice, Howard," says her father, "so what are your future prospects?" "Oh, I'm planning to expand a bit," replies Howard. "Expand a bit?" interrupts Rebecca for the third time, "Why, Howard's just about to purchase the old Langford property so that he can convert it into the world's most expensive hotel." "Well, that's nice, Howard," says her father. Just then Howard sneezes and reaches into his pocket for his handkerchief. Rebecca's mother immediately asks him, "Have you got a cold, Howard?" Before he could answer, Rebecca says, "A cold? Don't be silly Mom, Howard's got full blown pneumonia." HANDYMAN SERVICE Handy man and General Maintenance Air Conditioning Electrical Plumbing Carpentry Formerly handled maintenance at JCC References available STEVE'S SERVICES Call Steve Doyle at (386) 668-8960 ........ 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